When it first popped up around 6 months old, my first thought was “what the hell.”

I didn’t want to believe it was actually eczema. Was he allergic to my dogs? What was he wearing earlier? Did he touch something outside? Is it just the dry desert air? Did I give him a new lotion or soap?

No girl, it’s eczema.

So I started the tallow balm and the calendula cream paid close attention to anything he ate or came in contact with. He’d get better, and then he’d get worse again with no obvious triggers. Rinse and repeat.

Being in the line of work that I am, I knew deep down we had a lot more work to do than just buying the next magical cream or supplement that I got a targeted ad for on Instagram (looking at you, Tubby Todd).

I honestly never considered for a second going to a dermatologist or getting him on a steroid cream. No judgement for the moms who go that route, ultimately we all just want our kids to be comfortable.

But after a career of working with clients through other skin issues like acne and psoriasis, I knew those medications wouldn’t do shit to fix the problem.

Eczema is not a skin problem. It’s a signal coming from somewhere else in the body that something is off.

I’ve come to learn that treating the skin with creams and steroids is like taking the batteries out of the smoke alarm. The fire is still burning, you just can’t hear the signal anymore.

One of my BIGGEST pet peeves is when doctors say “kids will just grow out of their eczema.” First of all, a lot of them don’t. I know adults who still deal with eczema flares.

Second of all, if you don’t address the root of whatever is causing the eczema, maybe they’ll grow out of the skin issues but they’ll grow into new issues like hormonal imbalances or autoimmune conditions.

Ultimately, eczema is an immune system issue.

But you need to keep peeling back the onion — what’s causing the immune issue in the first place? Hidden infections? Poor diet? Parasites? Mold? Environmental toxins? Leaky gut? Food sensitivities? Heavy metal toxicity? Stress?

And to make it even more fun — it’s not usually just one of the above, it some sort of combination. AND the root cause is not going to be the same for every kid which means the fix isn’t going to be the same for every kid.

This is why “miracle supplements” might work great for one kid and do absolutely nothing for another.

For my son, I believe it was a combination of being born via c-section with a gut microbiome starting from zero, stress being held in his body from a traumatic birth, parasites from being ALL up in my dogs’ business, and mold exposure from our house.

This is the perfect storm for an overburdened immune system, leaky gut driving food sensitivities, a sluggish liver, and then his little body manifesting it all as eczema.

Hot take: I’m grateful for my son’s eczema.

Even though healing took a lot of time. It wasn’t one supplement or a quick fix to get his skin looking clear again. It took a lot of trial and error, figuring out his exact triggers, and gently detoxing his little body to get rid of the burden.

But I’m grateful for the eczema for a number of reasons.

1 — It was the signal I needed to know there was something wrong. I’m so grateful that I acted quickly, got to the root of his issues, and addressed them before it became a bigger problem.

2 — I can now help other people going though the same thing. I used what I learned from healing his skin to help tons of other families and continue to do so with my nutrition clients. By far the most common issue kids are seeing me for is for eczema. Without my son’s experience, I don’t know that I’d have the same knowledge (and empathy) to draw from.

The Takeaway

Eczema isn’t a life sentence and it doesn’t have to require harsh creams and pharmaceuticals. You can heal eczema at its root with natural remedies, you just have to dig deep to figure out exactly where it’s coming from.

Unfortunately you won’t find support on that journey from the dermatologist’s office but I’d love to be the support you need. Stop managing their symptoms and start asking why they’re there in the first place!

Free posts tell you what’s true. Paid posts tell you what to do. If you’re past needing convincing and you’re ready to act, that’s where you go.

I’m raising my son in the best way that I know how and that includes some things that people would see as being unconventional. But here are my favorites — you tell me if they’re unorthodox or not.

I give my toddler (at least) triple the recommended amount of protein per day.

Did you know that toddlers ages 1-3 are recommended to have 13 grams of protein per day? And the same people recommend they have around 130 grams of carbs per day? 130 grams of carbs with only 13 grams of protein is going to send a toddler on a blood sugar rollercoaster. Think meltdowns, constantly wanting snacks, heightened emotions. That is not flying in my house.

My toddler gets protein with every single meal and snack he eats. If he wants pasta, he eats chicken sausage with it. If he wants tortilla chips, he’s dipping them in taco skillet. If we’re on the go and he wants a fruit bar, no problem! Eat a meat stick first.

I don’t deprive him of the things that he wants but I’m ALWAYS making sure his blood sugar is balanced and the best way to do that is by giving him protein. His digestion is great, he doesn’t have belly pain, he’s not a gassy kid, and his kidneys are working optimally. Toddlers can handle more than 13 grams of protein, I promise.

I don’t treat fevers (at least not right away).

My son is 2 and has had two fevers in his life. I won’t lie, they did initially make me nervous because we’ve been taught that fevers = danger. But I also know that fevers serve an intentional purpose in the body — raise the body temperature to help kill off whatever infection is going on.

Using fever reducers like Tylenol at the first sign of a fever can drastically increase the length of time that your child is sick. You’re basically sending your kids immune system into war but taking their guns first.

As long as he doesn’t seem uncomfortable (outside of being tired or sluggish), eating okay, and drinking water, I wait. I continually monitor his temperature and if it continued to climb into a dangerous range, I would reach for the fever reducers. I’m not crazy enough to write off all conventional medicine but I’m certainly reaching for other things first.

My go-to’s at the first sign of illness are Earthley Wellness Feel Better Fast (code UNFILTERED for a discount), Bioray Kids NDF Immune, and electrolytes to prevent dehydration. I haven’t had to use a fever reducer yet and my son has recovered super quick every time he’s gotten sick!

I don’t wash his hands with soap when we’re in public.

He will not be touching any antibacterial soap or hand sanitizer. Both of those options have chemicals that soak into your skin and can wreck your gut microbiome when used frequently.

Instead, I carry around a travel bottle of Branch Basics. I spray his hands with the all purpose spray and have him rinse them off. I feel so much better about that touching his skin than I do about any other option you’re gonna find in a public bathroom.

At home he uses the nontoxic soaps that we keep at our sinks. Lately my favorite is Koala Eco (smells so good it’s actually insane that it’s nontoxic).

My toddler doesn’t eat vegetables and I don’t care.

Do I still offer them? Yes. Does he eat them? Almost never. I know that he’ll eat vegetables eventually but honestly I’m not that concerned about it right now. He eats organic grass fed meat, tons of organic fruit, high quality organic/raw dairy, and starchy carbs. He’s getting enough nutrients and fiber from other food sources in his diet that I just can’t care about him not eating broccoli.

I do think it’s important to expand children’s palates which is why I still offer him vegetables every time I make them. Sometimes he’ll take a bite of something but most of the time it sits on his plate until the end of the meal. I don’t stress about it because I know that vegetables are not going to make or break his health at this point.

Could I blend them up and hide them in his food? Yeah I guess but I’m confident enough that he’s getting the nutrition he needs from the rest of his diet so I’m not gonna bend over backwards to be sneaky.

I don’t give my kid vitamins.

He just eats real food. I think the multivitamin industry has preyed on people for decades and it’s just insane how brainwashed we are to think that we can give our kids a gummy vitamin and they’ll grow big and strong.

Just give them real, nutrient dense foods. If your kid is eating a whole-food based diet, they don’t need a multivitamin. If you have a supremely picky eater then you can supplement them in other ways, but a kids multivitamin isn’t even the first place I would start.

Most kids multivitamins have TINY amounts of vitamins because it has to be packaged in a kid-friendly way (i.e. gummies or chewables). You can’t pack much nutrition into a gummy bear that a kid will actually eat.

If you’re worried about your kid getting enough vitamins and minerals, audit their diet rather than spending money on glorified candy.

I don’t believe something is safe just because it’s FDA approved.

I read the ingredient labels on EVERYTHING, even medications. People are shocked to find out that most medications (this goes for adults and children) have dyes, added sugar, preservatives, flavorings, stabilizers, and common allergens like gluten and dairy. And this isn’t even just the medicines that are obviously made for kids.

My son had reflux when he was an infant and we put him on famotidine out of desperation. I have a lot of regrets about this decision but I can’t change the past, so it is what it is. When I finally read the actual ingredients of famotidine, I started weaning him off of it immediately.

It’s a white liquid medication that is not formulated specifically for kids. It has talc (possibly carcinogenic), titanium dioxide (possibly carcinogenic), sodium benzoate (preservative), confectioner’s sugar, and cellulose gum (gut irritant). And I was giving this to my INFANT to help with his reflux???

People assume that because something is “FDA approved” it means it’s automatically safe, but these ingredients tell a different story.

I parasite cleansed my 2 year old.

Let’s end this one with a bang. I cannot even begin to tell you the amount of times I’ve had parents of my kid clients tell me that their pediatrician told them there was no way their kid had parasites.

And then we cleanse their kids and guess what? Parasites.

EVERYONE has parasites and for some reason doctors just refuse to believe this. I chose to parasite cleanse my son at age 2 because he was showing classic signs of parasitic overgrowth. He had extreme emotions/behavior out of nowhere, his sleep was really poor, and he was itching his booty.

We have 2 dogs and my son is all up in their business 24/7. They lick his face, he rolls around in their beds, and he uses our Aussie as his pillow when he’s watching a movie. His face is literally inches away from her butthole. It’s widely accepted and encouraged to de-worm our pets, but for some reason controversial to de-worm our kids.

After 6 weeks of cleansing with kid-friendly herbs and tinctures, his mood stabilized, he stopped itching his booty, and his sleep improved. That’s all the data I need even though the proof was in the pudding (the pudding being his poop and the proof being parasite eggs).

This is just scratching the surface.

Trust me, I could go DEEP into more controversial topics on my motherhood choices but I’m also deeply protective of my son’s privacy. There are certain topics I will discuss at large that will allow you to assume the choices I’ve made for him, but I won’t openly discuss his medical history for the world to read.

I am incredibly lucky that I have a naturopath that I take my son to for his well visits who is not only super cool, but also totally open to all of my antics. She has never pressured me to give my son anything I wasn’t comfortable with and was totally on board when I wanted to stop medicating him for the reflux.

These providers DO exist, you just usually have to pay out of pocket for them. Maybe one day the good ones will be covered by insurance but until then, I’ll happily pay for my own peace of mind that my son is getting the best care possible without having to go to war over it.

Tell me all the controversial decisions you make for your kids in the comments!

It came with a lot of trauma. Going from “let’s check you to see if you’re ready to push” to “we need to get baby out right now” and then being rolled to the OR, jostled around on the table, and then meeting your baby all in under 10 minutes is an experience you just can’t quite comprehend.

I don’t want that to be my story this time around. While I still really wish my son’s birth had gone differently, I learned SO much from that experience that I’m taking with me into the birth of my second child.

Why I want a VBAC

If you aren’t familiar with the term VBAC, it means “vaginal birth after cesarean”. I want my next birth to be redemptive. I’m realistic enough to acknowledge that you can’t plan how your birth is going to go and some things are out of my hands, but that doesn’t mean I’m not going to do EVERYTHING in my power to prep for the kind of birth I wish I had the first time around.

My son had a really rough entry into this world. Not only physically (he was quite literally ripped from my womb — the doctor had to work extremely hard to get him out even with a c-section), but he was put into the arms of parents who were in complete shock and just experienced trauma. Not exactly the warm welcoming he deserved.

He dealt with reflux, gut issues, and allergies in his first year that I absolutely attribute to being a c-section baby. When babies don’t go through the vaginal canal, their microbiome doesn’t get seeded with all the healthy bacteria they’re exposed to on their way out. This can cause a lot of issues in that first year that are hard to catch up with.

I know plenty of people who have great experiences with c-sections and I’m not here to tell anyone that they’re bad, it’s just not what I want for myself and my next baby.

Choosing the right provider

I’m still working through feelings of blame and resentment when it comes to the care team I had during my son’s birth. I switched care teams at 33 weeks pregnant because I didn’t feel comfortable with the first team, only to end up with a new team that I didn’t feel comfortable with either.

Without getting into the nitty gritty details of that trauma, I learned that the team you have around you when giving birth matters WAY MORE than I realized. I think a big reason why my labor was stalled was because I didn’t fully trust the people in the room with me. To be frank, I didn’t even like some of them. Your body can feel that, your baby can feel that.

This time around, I ended up choosing the team that actually wound up delivering my son in the hospital. I opted for a hospital birth this time around because I know there are risks with VBACs and I’d rather be somewhere that can swiftly take care of us if something were to go wrong.

The OB that delivered my son was so warm, so kind, and reiterated to me 100 times that just because I had a c-section this time doesn’t mean I’ll need one again. That’s the kind of provider I want on my team for my VBAC.

Even if it means delivering at an old hospital that’s kind of far and isn’t in the greatest part of town. The team matters more to me than being picky about location.

I am not being a potato this pregnancy

I think it’s easy to fall into the trap of “I’m pregnant, I can eat whatever I want and lounge around because I’m growing a human.” You can certainly have days like that, but that was my mentality for way too much of my last pregnancy.

Last time, I was super sick my first trimester and then ended up with placenta previa which limited my ability to exercise. The previa ended up resolving around 28 weeks, but my will to workout did not return that deep into pregnancy.

People say “you can’t train for birth” and I call bullshit on that. You absolutely can and I absolutely am.

Not only do I think I burned out quicker during labor because I was physically and mentally weaker than I needed to be, but my postpartum recovery was ROUGH with the amount of muscle I lost during pregnancy.

This time around I refuse to let that happen regardless if I get my VBAC or not. Starting around 12 weeks I started seeing an amazing pelvic floor PT to start getting my body in shape for birth. She’s helping me with some pelvic floor weakness I had after my son was born and I’m doing daily exercises to work on diaphragmatic breathing, core engagement, mobility, and strengthening to optimize my body for birth.

As we get closer to the end of my pregnancy, we’ll start working on optimal positions for pushing and getting baby in a good position. I SO wish I had done this the first time around.

It’s also nearly impossible to be sedentary with a 2 year old, so I’m up and moving a lot more than last time. On top of that, I’ve been doing Mind Body Core workouts from Doc Lizzie which are amazing 30-40 min pregnancy specific workouts to keep the body in shape (admittedly I need to be more consistent with these, but still).

I want my body to be strong, but I want my mind to be stronger

This is an area that I didn’t work on enough the first time around. Labor is INTENSE and I don’t think I took that seriously enough. I have a pretty high pain tolerance so I just assumed I would handle it fine. Nothing can prepare you for 22 hours of unmedicated back labor with 8 seconds of rest between contractions.

Now that I’ve experienced what it can be like, I’m leaning much more into mental prep work this time around.

Mental prep looks different for everyone. I’ve been listening to pregnancy and birth prep affirmations on the Activations app to get my mind into the right state for the birth I want to have. After a traumatic experience the first time around, it’s really easy for my brain to follow the path of fear rather than believing it can and will work out the way I want it to. Activations help center me and remind me that what I want is possible.

I also plan to lean in to hypnobirthing this time around. Learning to control your breath and your thoughts during times of stress is an invaluable skill. I have an online course that I’ll be doing through the Built to Birth course and I’m looking forward to diving in to that soon.

When you’re in the thick of labor and your mind is in “labor land” it’s really hard to implement these strategies if they aren’t practiced ahead of time. I want positive affirmations burned into my brain and my breath control to come as naturally as possible so labor can be a much smoother experience this time around.

Creating a solid birth plan

I was naive the first time around believing that because I chose a home birth that my baby would absolutely be born at home (LOL)

Well that didn’t happen and let me tell ya, it’s chaotic to try to communicate your desires to a brand new team in the thick of labor. This time around I will have a very clear birth plan that my whole team will understand so I can just focus on labor when the time comes. Removing this stress will hopefully allow my body to relax into the experience rather than tense up and prevent that baby from coming out.

I’m happy to share my birth plan after my babe is born but for now I’m keeping that closer to my heart.

Planning for it all, going in with zero expectations

If my last labor taught me anything, it’s that you can plan all you want but ultimately it’s these little babies who run the show. I will do everything in my power to facilitate the best birth possible but I’m realistic enough to understand that interventions are sometimes necessary.

This is where having a team that you fully trust becomes PARAMOUNT. When you’re in the throes of labor, you don’t want to be weighing pros and cons and making decisions on interventions that may be necessary. I trust my midwife to give me her honest opinion on whether something like a repeat c-section needs to happen due to xyz complication.

I’m not going to put myself or my baby in danger by refusing the birth that I don’t desire simply because I don’t desire it. I know better than that. So I’ll plan everything I can so I can be mentally and physically prepared but I’ll be entering birth with the mindset of “whatever happens, happens.”

If you’ve had a successful VBAC, share your story with me!! I want to hear all the positive VBAC stories going into this next labor.

If you had a traumatic or unsuccessful VBAC story, my heart goes out to you but please don’t share that with me right now. Mindset, remember???

Over the years, I’ve noticed a massive shift in how kids function in their daily life. Kids went from being young, wild, and free to asking for help to do the simplest of tasks. I know the mental load it takes to be a mom and I only have one kid. Now imagine a world where your kids problem solve, think for themselves, and independently try things without saying “mom” “mom help” “mom can you do this for me” 1000 times per day.

Here’s my unsolicited advice on how to foster confidence and independence in your kids.

Start ‘em young

I really think the problem is starting when these kids are toddlers. As a toddler mom myself, I know how hard it can be to navigate this stage. They’re strong willed and sometimes you want to just throw your hands in the air and let them do whatever they want so you can get a minute of damn peace.

I beg of you, don’t do that. Kids NEED structure in this stage. They need boundaries. They need you to be the grown up. If you want fewer power struggles, pay close attention.

Gentle parenting just won’t do it for them. You can be firm without being mean. Getting on the floor with your child and asking them how they’re feeling while they’re mid-tantrum isn’t going to make them feel safe, it’s going to make them feel more out of control because you aren’t modeling how they’re supposed to behave. You’re going to end up with a kid who thinks they’re in charge.

But the thing is — kids don’t know how to be in charge. They don’t have the executive functioning abilities to know how to be in charge. That’s how they become tiny dictators with raging emotions.

Set the boundary for their expected behavior and when they have emotions about it, you can acknowledge that they feel sad and comfort them as you please but you do. not. break. the. boundary.

This sets you up for so much success in the later stages. Your child will be much more complaint once they’ve learned you are the one in charge.

Let them do dangerous things safely

I know that’s an oxymoron, but hear me out. A huge part of independence is learning how to trust yourself. Part of that comes from trying out dangerous things but as a parent, you get to control the danger.

I have a RAMBUNCTIOUS toddler. He wants to be throwing his body on mine and body slamming our couch cushions. Rather than telling him “that’s not safe” and stopping the behavior, I set up the environment so he can crash all he wants without hurting himself.

I’ve seen families with boys have entire romp rooms in their house to allow for this exact thing. It teaches kids how to try new things, how to move their bodies in different ways, and how to build trust in themselves.

I want my kid to be tough. I want him to be able to handle hardship without breaking down or becoming a nervous wreck. This means letting him try things like climbing trees (and monitoring how high he goes), riding his bike fast (with a helmet), or climbing up and down the ladder (spotting him but not intervening). Don’t project your anxieties onto your kids!

Include them in everything

From a young age, most kids just want to be included in whatever you’re doing. So include them! It might take twice the amount of time to do your laundry with them “folding” but they’ll never learn if they don’t have the chance to practice.

This is also such a good time to have open conversations with your kids about life and whatever they’re going through in that season. Some of the best conversations happen over mundane tasks.

Fostering independence can be done in the home, but it’s really reinforced outside of the home. Bring them out into the world with you from a young age!

Rather than putting a screen in front of them at a restaurant, include them in dinner conversation, have them learn how to explore a menu and order their own food, and encourage them to ask waiters for what they need. If your kids are really little, you can bring activities for them to do with their siblings or with you so they’re still engaged. It helps to build their confidence in public places rather than teaching them to tune out of the world around them.

Stop solving their problems

If you gather anything from this post, let it be this. PLEASE stop doing everything for them. When you jump in at the first sign of hardship, they will never learn how to solve problems on their own. I get it, it’s hard to see kids struggle but it’s necessary for their brains to figure out how to problem solve.

When I was working in the school system, it was glaring how hard kids were struggling with problem solving. And I don’t mean math problems or solving problems in an academic sense, I mean solving basic problems in a real world sense.

Kids would come up to me and say “my pencil broke.” Okay??? There is a pencil sharpener in every classroom. It was almost like they needed to be told to do every step of their day.

This was also a huge issue with peer relationships (especially in the post-COVID era). If any sort of conflict arose, they immediately run to their teacher. In all my years of working in the schools, I’ve only worked with ONE teacher who did an incredible job at fostering kids independence with conflict. For the most part, the teachers would intervene or remove one student from the situation. This doesn’t help anyone.

In my opinion, the best approach is to keep asking them questions. If they come to you with a problem, ask them what they think they could do about it. If someone says something mean to them, ask “what do you think you could say back to them?” If they come to you and say their shirt got all dirty, ask them “how do you think you could solve that problem?”

Get them thinking outside the box on how to solve problems and before you know it, they’ll be solving them without your help.

LET THEM FAIL

One of the biggest and most frustrating changes I’ve seen in kids in recent years is they don’t know how to fail. So many kids won't even try something if they think they’re going to fail at it, and a lot of times it’s because they weren’t given a chance to fail safely at a young age. But don’t fear! You can still break this habit even with older kids, it just might take some more time.

Similar to the previous section, if your kid is building a tower that keeps falling down, don’t go in and build them a sturdy base. Let them try to figure it out on their own. If they ask for your help — turn it back on them. “It seems like your tower keeps falling over at the bottom. What do you think you could do to make the bottom stronger?” Gently guide them to the answer, but don’t give it to them outright.

The best way for kids to learn how to fail is to let them see YOU fail and watch how you react to it.

Try something you’ve never done before and let them watch you figure it out. This doesn’t have to be staged, you can simply notice the language you use around your mistakes and model how it’s not a big deal. If you blow up and talk down on yourself every time you make a mistake, your kid will absorb that as “oh man it’s really bad to fail.”

Being afraid to fail = afraid to try anything new = dependent on you or others to help them.

The Takeaway

Ultimately, the only way to foster independence in your kids is by giving them independence. They have to be given opportunities to try things on their own at every stage. For toddlers, this might mean letting them explore toys or household objects without you hovering over them. For younger kids, this could be letting them order at a restaurant or check out and pay at the store. For teenagers, this means not micromanaging, guiding them when it’s appropriate, but ultimately allowing them to make mistakes (parents of teenagers, are you okay out there??)

It’s HARD to do this because we all just want to protect our babies from failure but I promise you, you’re doing them a huge disservice if you don’t allow them to fail.

Let me know your thoughts or experiences with this!

Always rooting for you,
Steph

When I started my nutrition journey, I swore I would never touch detox. It scared me because I knew people could have extreme reactions and I didn’t want to touch that. Now the bulk of my job is helping people detox, and the bulk of my clients are actually children. Talk about a 180 from where I thought my career would go.

Parents are often scared to detox their kids because they don’t want them to have extreme reactions or be uncomfortable. The sad reality is that we live in such a toxic world, kids are building up levels of toxicity at a much more rapid pace. Kids are covered in eczema, having behavioral struggles, gut issues, and getting diagnosed with ADHD, autism, asthma, and anxiety on a level we’ve never seen before. Toxins are absolutely a player in all of those conditions, so detoxing is becoming necessary to keep our kids healthy.

Let’s dig into what works, what doesn’t, and how to gently support your kids’ bodies to let go of what isn’t serving them.

This post is purely informational and is not intended to replace medical advice. Always consult your child’s pediatrician or a qualified healthcare professional before making changes to your child’s diet, supplements, or health routine.

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Detoxing

I breastfed my son for 16 months and was DYING to get back into my detox regimen once he was weaned. For me, this looked like tons of liver support, coffee enemas, sweating, and parasite cleansing. Since I lived in mold for 2+ years during pregnancy and breastfeeding, I wanted to give myself ample time to detox from that exposure after my son was weaned and before getting pregnant again.

I started with majorly supporting my detox pathways with liver/kidney herbs, tons of minerals, and making sure I was pooping every day. Once I felt like I was in a good spot, I started incorporating anti parasitic herbs and binders to clear out any overgrowth in my gut. As I’m writing this, I’m in phase 2 of parasite cleansing utilizing different herbs to tackle different parasites. I plan to incorporate some mold binders in the coming weeks to clean up any lingering mycotoxins from our moldy house.

Eating a lot

Now is not the time for weight loss and trying to get lean. It took awhile for me to find my balance with food intake after weaning since I was eating a LOT while breastfeeding, but I’m still focusing on nourishing my body as much as possible in this season. Your hormones need proper nourishment to function so I’m focusing on getting as much protein and nutrient dense foods as possible.

I’m still getting a good amount of carbs, but I’m also focusing on lowering my sugar intake. I found myself eating whatever I wanted while I was breastfeeding because I actually had a hard time keeping weight on in that season. Now that I don’t need those extra calories, I’m trying to cut back on sugar intake to optimize my blood sugar and give my liver a break.

In the first trimester, your baby is primarily relying on your nutrient reserves for nourishment. This is why I tell moms not to stress about trying to pack in nutrition in the first trimester if they’re experiencing sickness — your nutrient reserves are there for a reason! Taking a prenatal before getting pregnant can help but eating an abundance of nutrient dense foods is going to be the best way to build up those reserves.

Building muscle

I was quite strong before getting pregnant with my son and pregnancy and postpartum just completely ate up every ounce of muscle I had. I was SO skinny once the baby weight came off, and not in a good way. I truly think my recovery from his birth was way harder than it needed to be because of my lack of exercise while I was pregnant.

So now that I’m looking at getting pregnant again in the next year, I’m trying my best to build that muscle back so it will be easier to maintain while I’m pregnant the next time. It’s SO important to me to prioritize strength and movement during my next pregnancy because being a potato during my last one didn’t do me any favors.

Nourishing my nervous system

The past year has been incredibly stressful in a lot of different ways, so getting my nervous system in check before getting pregnant is really important to me. Stressors will always come up but figuring out what works for me when it comes to nervous system regulation is so important so I can lean into those strategies when needed.

Pregnancy is a massive stress on the body so being able to implement strategies when times get hard is incredibly important. For me, that looks like listening to the Activations app, reading fiction books, prioritizing sleep, and cutting back on caffeine.

Monitoring my thyroid

Having a previous bout with hypothyroid/Hashimoto’s, keeping an eye on my thyroid hormone levels is critical before getting pregnant. Your thyroid drives ovulation and implantation so making sure the thyroid isn’t stressed and hormone levels are in optimal ranges (not just “normal” ranges) is key.

I pulled my labs a few months ago and plan to do so again soon to make sure everything is staying stable. Once I do get pregnant, I’ll continue to pull thyroid labs every trimester to monitor hormone levels since the thyroid plays such a huge role in having a healthy pregnancy.

Tracking my cycle

I use Natural Cycles to track my cycle using basal body temperature. As I’m writing this, my cycle is pretty regular but my ovulation is all over the board, likely because of the parasite cleansing that I’m doing. For that reason I’ll continue to track my cycle but start implementing ovulation sticks when I get closer to trying so I can really get a grip on when my body is ovulating.

I cannot stress enough how important it is to learn how to track your cycle. If you’re taking birth control, you will not have a cycle to track! This only applies if you’re not using any sort of hormonal contraceptive like the pill or an IUD. Learning your cycle and your body’s cues throughout the month is such valuable information whether you’re wanting to get pregnant soon or not. You can use your symptoms throughout the month as signals to determine if your hormones are working properly and guide your healing if they aren’t. Knowing your body is far more valuable than any hormone test or lab work.

Making space for another soul

This is arguably the most important work I’ll be doing as I prepare for another pregnancy and it’s work that is often overlooked. I’m mentally preparing for how to physically make space for another baby to enter our home but also making space in my mind and heart. Having another baby is something I don’t take lightly and I want to make sure that my life is set up for this new soul to thrive. This means making sure my work setup is going to work with another baby, making sure my son is in a good place to share mom and dad, and setting ourselves up financially so we don’t have to stress about money when the time comes.

I want to make sure that we’re bringing another soul into an environment where we’ll ALL be safe, healthy, and happy. This also means making sure I’m physically and mentally ready for another pregnancy, postpartum, and breastfeeding journey. It’s a lot on a woman’s body to go through everything it takes to bring a life into this world and nourish a baby for the first year. I want to make sure I’m not only physically ready for it, but also excited for the sacred work that is motherhood.

I’ll take you along for the ride as I enter this season of life again, but for now I’m just grateful to have a healthy body all to myself!

Do you ever experience that icky feeling after you’ve doom scrolled for way too long on social media? Sometimes I feel like I’m coming out of a coma when I finally put my phone down.

It’s not just because you’ve checked out into another world for 45 straight minutes, there are actual physiological changes happening in your brain and body when we stare at screens for extended periods of time.

There’s a biological reason we feel worse after scrolling and it isn’t just comparison to people’s seemingly perfect lives on Instagram (although that’s part of it). We’re going to dive deep into the science behind screens, exactly how it affects both kids and adults, and how to digitally detox to have healthier habits around screens.

The addiction is real.

The addiction to screens is a massive problem that I think we’re only starting to scratch the surface of. It seems so much more harmless than other addictions because we’re quite literally just sitting down and scrolling. It doesn’t seem to hurt anyone on the surface level, but is that actually true?

Dopamine is the neurotransmitter that people often associate with pleasure, but the role of dopamine in the brain is actually rooted in seeking out pleasure, not the pleasure itself. Dopamine is more like the craving for something good. Every time we experience that craving and it’s satisfied by whatever it is we’re seeking, that neural pathway is strengthened making us crave it even more.

We see this happen all the time. If you constantly eat sugar, you crave more sugar. Some of that is due to blood sugar imbalances, but it’s largely influenced by that dopamine hit we get when we eat the cookie. It’s the same thing for screens. Scrolling on social media, playing video games, or watching videos triggers the release of dopamine in the brain. The more you scroll, the more dopamine your brain is releasing causing you to seek more.

Over time, your brain is on dopamine overload and the dopamine receptors start to become desensitized. Now your brain needs even MORE dopamine to get that same hit that you got before from less stimulation. And if you stop getting that stimulation cold turkey, your brain can go into dopamine withdrawal which can mimic feelings of depression.

How insane is that??? We’re so addicted to our phones that we can literally go into a depressive state if they get taken away.

Your nervous system is burnt out.

Humans are not wired for constant stimulation. Our brains literally can’t handle it. When you scroll on your phone, the stimulation from watching 5 seconds of 100 different videos is stressing out your body and burning out your nervous system. If you really think about it, it’s quite obvious that this is happening.

Ever notice after being on screens all day, your patience is lower for your kids or feel entirely unmotivated to do anything? Or when you take the screens away from your kids, they have an absolute f*cking meltdown? It’s because their nervous systems go from being constantly stimulated to deprivation and that drastic shift in stimulation is hard to come down from at the drop of a hat.

We aren’t wired for that level of stimulation all the time. We’re wired for brief stints of mental stimulation (different from OVER stimulation, like from screens) and then sensory breaks. In the times before phones, people worked, took lunch breaks, worked more, then went home and spent time with their families. An appropriate balance of stimulation and rest throughout their day.

Now it’s wake up, immediately check your email, eat breakfast while scrolling TikTok, drive to work with a podcast on, work on screens all day (likely straight through lunch, or maybe you take a lunch break and scroll Instagram). Then you drive home from work (more podcasting) where maybe you take a break from screens to spend time with family or you just throw the TV on while you cook dinner. Then more doom scrolling before bed followed by a night of shitty sleep. Your brain is NEVER given a break.

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The saying is true — no one is a better parent than who they were before they had kids. I thought I had it alllll figured out. I knew what boundaries I was going to set, I knew my kid was gonna eat healthy all the time, and I thought parenting was going to be mostly smooth with a few bumps here and there.

Well wasn’t that humbling.

My son was a VERY difficult newborn. He was born in May and I remember last Halloween being the first day that I put him to bed thinking “wow today was a pretty easy day.” Yeah, five months after he was born.

If you’ve had a “colicky” baby (I use quotation marks because colic is always for a reason, doctors just don’t like figuring out the root cause), you know that it is so incredibly hard day in and day out. You let go of all expectations you had of motherhood and what parenting was going to look like.

So here is a list of the things I really thought I’d care about but it turns out I really, really don’t.

What my kid eats

This was a HUMBLING one for me as a nutritionist. My brain is constantly thinking about blood sugar balance and protein intake and getting in nutrient dense foods.

Well, my son was late to start on solids because of a moldy house that was causing allergic reactions to everything so we missed that “golden window” of time where it’s best to introduce foods (if that’s even a real thing). It was SO HARD to get him to try new foods and honestly, this phase was (dare I say) more stressful than the colic??

So now I don’t give a flying f*ck what he eats as long as he’s eating. With that being said, I don’t offer him foods I’m not comfortable with him eating (like fast food or anything super sugary). Sometimes he basically just eats fruit for dinner and I’m just glad he ate SOMETHING. The child eats chicken nuggets for several meals a week and you know what? I don’t care.

I still offer him all of the foods we eat so he’s getting daily exposure to new foods and sometimes he eats them and I feel like I won the lottery, and sometimes the dogs get a full feast. Whatever.

Getting dirty

I really care about having a clean house and in general I’m a very clean person, but my child loves to play in dirt and sand and mulch and I just don’t care. He rubs dirt on his clothing, in his hair, and sometimes even in his mouth (which I do care a little more about).

He also refuses to wear a bib when he’s eating and since I already talked about how difficult it is to get him to eat, I don’t bother fighting him on it. This means he’s basically wearing his food after every single meal.

We change clothes multiple times a day. I’m always doing laundry and we should honestly buy stock in stain spray with the amount that I use. But he loves baths just as much as he loves getting dirty, so have at it.

Having trendy outfits

I used to have an entire Pinterest board of kids in cute, trendy outfits. I really thought I would be the mom with the kid in the cute matching sweatsuit and backwards hat.

Well that’s hilarious now that I know how expensive kids clothes are and the fact that he grows out of them in 17 seconds. Also we already talked about how dirty he gets day in and day out, so what is the point of spending money on nice kids clothes only for him to ruin them?

We shop at Target, Old Navy, and H&M. I don’t think he owns any clothing item that cost more than $10 (other than his bamboo jammies which I WILL shell out dollars for).

Sleep schedules

We do have a pretty routine sleep schedule for the most part, but if we want to go on a day trip up north that messes with nap time or if we’re getting home late from spending time with friends and family, I truly don’t care. He will sleep in the car if he’s tired enough and he honestly doesn’t get cranky unless he’s REALLY tired, which doesn’t happen often.

He naps in the afternoon but sometimes that means 12pm and sometimes it’s 1:30, just honestly depends on the day. His bedtime is anywhere from 7-8ish, truly it’s just whatever we’re feeling. My son is a pretty inconsistent sleeper whether we stick to a rigid routine or not, so it’s a crap chute either way.

Aesthetic toys

This one is hilarious. I swear every single mom who wants kids in the future SWEARS her kids will have the cute, aesthetic toys so their house isn’t filled with obnoxious colors. Maybe these moms exist, but how boring for their children.

Kids love lights and music and bright colors and I’m truly happy to get those things for him. The Fisher Price kick n play piano is the biggest staple in our house and it couldn’t be further from aesthetic. My house will be back to being neat, organized, and aesthetic one day but when that day comes, I bet I’ll miss the chaos of the toys.

What I DO Care About

This list is far longer, but I’ll hit the main points. There are certain things that I really do care about when it comes to my child.

I really care about the ingredients in what he’s eating. I don’t offer him anything with artificial dyes, artificial sweeteners, or ingredients I wouldn’t be comfortable eating myself.

I also really care about screen time. We do have the TV on a decent amount in our house but if it’s a show we’re watching or sports, he doesn’t pay attention to it at all. I don’t mind having it on in the background when he’s around but I am not putting shows on for him to watch at this age. We don’t own iPads and I try to keep my phone away from him as much as possible. I know the time for watching shows will come, but it’s not now.

I really care about the toxins he’s exposed to. I don’t use anything toxic in the house when it comes to cleaning products or baby products I’m using on him. Nothing with fragrance, nothing with harsh chemicals, nothing with questionable ingredients.

I really care about my son’s privacy. I never share his face on social media and I ask my family and friends to do the same. Honestly these days I don’t even type out his name very often anymore. I just don’t love how much information about kids is shared online these days and I find it unsettling when parents share the name of their kids schools, sports teams, or other really easily identifiable information online for anyone to see. I don’t know how I’d feel if I grew up and eventually realized that so much of my life was broadcasted to strangers without my consent. No shame if you share your kids online! It’s just not for me.

What are some things you thought you’d care about as a parent but turns out you could not care less??

I started this post with the intention of sharing healthier Halloween swaps for you and your kids (and I will, but I have a point to make first). As I was writing it, I was vetting healthier candy brands and saw a post about how you should just allow your kids to have candy because “it’s just one day” and “you don’t want to be ‘that mom’ on Halloween.”

My eyes have never rolled harder.

I’ve come across this way of thinking a lot in my years in holistic health. “I don’t want to order the gluten free pasta because I don’t want to be ‘that person’ at the table.” To which I respond, “what person? The person who puts their health ahead of other people’s opinions?” I DO want to be that person.

My son is still little so I haven’t been mom shamed for my crunchy choices yet (at least to my face), but I know it’s coming one day. As if the choices I make for my child have ANYTHING to do with other people.

Can we just agree that most moms make choices for their kids based on their best interest? For some moms that might mean letting them have whatever they want on Halloween because their kids can handle it, it’s just one day, and the joy in their kids outweighs any detriment from the candy. For another mom it might mean swapping what their kid has on Halloween because of a food allergy or health issue that is worsened by sugar and food dye. We’re all out here trying to do our best.

No matter which route you choose, you don’t have to defend the choices you make for your children to anyone. If you find yourself faced with someone judging you for the choices you make, just act confused like you don’t understand what they mean. Asking someone to explain their judgement will stop them in their tracks and I guarantee they’ll think twice before saying anything to anyone again.

Okay now that I’ve gotten that off my chest, let’s get into some healthier swaps and blood sugar tips so your kids don’t go buck wild on Halloween.

NOTE: I wrote this speaking towards parents of kids, but all of these tips will help adults too. If you have a tendency to get high on your own supply (of Halloween candy obviously), use these tips for yourself to keep your blood sugar stable too.

Healthier Candy Swaps

You could be the cool house that hands these out to everyone, but they are more expensive so if you live in a highly trafficked area for Trick or Treaters it could add up. But I think these taste BETTER than the traditional candy brands so if you’re gucci with offering your kids candy but want them to have healthier options, offer to switch their Trick or Treating candy with these options instead:

• Yum Earth: organic, gluten free, dairy free, nut free, dye free candy options like lollipops, giggles (healthier skittles — I LIVED off of the sour ones when I was pregnant), chewys (healthier starburst), littles (healthier sour patch kids), gummy bears, licorice, and hard candies.

• Smart Sweets: pricier, but delicious. Gluten free, dye free, and low sugar swaps for peach rings, twizzlers, sour patch kids, starburst, sour watermelons, Swedish fish, and more.

• Unreal Snacks: the GOAT. Healthier swaps for chocolate candies like mounds, Reese’s, snickers, M&Ms, chocolate covered pretzels, and chocolate covered almonds. You can also get a variety bag at Costco.

How to keep their (and your) blood sugar stable:

Fill Them With Protein Before They Leave

The best way to prevent a blood sugar rollercoaster on Halloween? Protein. Give them a protein filled meal before they go out Trick or Treating and not only will they crave less sugar, but they won’t have crazy blood sugar spikes after they eat their candy.

Make Them WALK

You know what drives me insane? Electric scooters. It’s like — let’s get our kids outside, but make it lazy. Ditch the electric scooters and bikes and have them walk house to house on Halloween. I know this does not sound revolutionary but we live across the street from an elementary school and I see more kids on electric scooters and bikes than regular ones. The exercise from walking will keep their blood sugar stable so they don’t have the crazy sugar high and crash that comes with meltdowns.

Keep Them Hydrated With “Potions”

Keeping kids hydrated is hard when they don’t care about drinking plain water. Come up with a fun “potion” drink together to get them excited about staying hydrated. You could add ingredients like coconut water, electrolyte powders (I like Taylor Dukes Wellness or Just Ingredients for kids), or bubbly waters if they like carbonation. Keeping them hydrated will help keep their blood sugar stable and the sweetness from electrolyte powders might cut their sugar cravings for candy.

Here’s a quick and cheap recipe for you: add 1 part coconut water, 1 part filtered water to a pitcher. Squeeze in 1/2 lemon and 1/2 lime. Add a pinch of sea salt (we love Redmond’s Real Salt) and a touch of honey or maple syrup to taste. Voila, a yummy drink that will keep your kids hydrated!

Use the “Switch Witch”

If you prefer your kids don’t continually eat candy for weeks until they get through their stash, offer them something else in exchange for their candy. The switch can be anything that would be high value for your kid — for littles it could be small toys, for older kids maybe books, art supplies, gift cards, or special outings. It doesn’t have to be anything big or expensive, just whatever your kid will value in exchange for their candy.

And If Your Kid Gets the Sugar High…

Don’t sweat it. But You can mitigate the blood sugar rollercoaster by making them work. And by work I mean literally do heavy work — it will stabilize their blood sugar and calm their nervous systems before bed. Have them run laps in the backyard. Put heavy books in a laundry basket and have them push it around. Have them do animal walks across the living room. See who can do more pushups. Put on some music and dance it out. If YOU act excited, your kids will find it fun. I promise. Good marketing goes a long way in parenthood.

So let’s get out there and have a great, judgment free Halloween with stable blood sugar!

Always rooting for you,

Steph